Some people’s purpose in learning music is to perform, to be able to perfect a masterpiece that they feel proud to showcase. Understandably, music for a lot of people is a hobby that they aim to share with others and ultimately to be made public. I, however, have found the opposite for myself with this project.

While I have recorded my initial starting place and my later progress, I have found I have been craving the private nature of this project more and more throughout the term. At the very beginning, my focus was simply on learning and practising enough technique so that I could become reasonably self-sufficient, so this stage was more about overcoming the resistance to doing something I wasn’t good at. While I still wouldn’t consider myself “good,” I have enough skill that this resistance isn’t the only feeling present anymore. Any time you are working to improve a skill there will and should always be some discomfort, but at the same time, I am turning to the process for comfort.

I think this is because when playing, I have been able to enter a state of flow. A flow state could be described as what happens to our brains when we enter into a focus and concentration that is entirely enrapturing – everything else seems to fade away, and your world only consists of whatever it is that you’re working on. While perhaps it sounds a little “woo-woo,” it is something I think most people can relate to when thinking of hobbies or work projects they have lost themselves in, where time seems to stop.

I have had trouble entering such a flow state in other areas of my life, so I found that I have been craving the opportunity to shut out the world for a while and just focus on my music. As an introvert, I have found that it has enabled me to create a little pocket of time and space where I can feel alone in the way that I need it.